What I'd Tell You If I Wasn't Afraid of Hurting Your Feelings ... about Growing on Substack

My initial feeling: urgh. I don't want to do this. Because i'm going to trigger some. But my best teachers in life have triggered the F out of me, and it lead me to grow exponentially so... you ready?

First of all - i’m not trying to be anyone’s teacher, or guru, or mentor/coach. I get paid to coach, i’m not trying to do that on here.

What i’m about to share are simply valuable mindset shifts, perspectives, insights and reframes to WHY you’re not growing, seeing the results you want, and feel like you’re in the void.

I’ll also share some tips, tools, and an almost guarantee of what will work.

So first things first: it’s not a one size fits all situation.

Can we say that again louder:

It’s not a one-size-fits all situation.

People who sell you strategies for social media, to hack the algorithm, to do this, to do that.. i’m not saying it’s BS. But I am saying it’s BS IF it’s a one size fits all situation.
If it’s personal, customised, tailored, subjective, individual - sure. and guess what, i’m talking from experience.

The people that sell you courses on XYZ to make millions overnight - do they take the time to talk to you 1-1? To understand YOUR unique situation and what’s not working and working for you? If they do, great! You shouldn’t be here if you’ve invested in that. If they don’t…. just question their intention. Money, or genuinely helping? They can go hand in hand, don’t get me wrong - but those that truly care, and truly want to help, will fork out time to chat 1:1 and “coach” you (for better words) on your unique situation.

So here are a few things i’d tell you if I wasn’t afraid of hurting your feelings

(and they all work together, so don’t take one out separately, it’s the whole thing):

1. You’re not disciplined. You think you are, but you think that just cause you’ve showed up for a few days, or weeks, inconsistently.. that you’ll blow up. No. Consistency is every single day. Or week. Or month. Depends on your GOALS. ON YOUR GOALS. No one else’s - your goals and objectives.

2. You give up too fast - us humans tend to give up just before the miracle happens. Because that’s when it happens - when it’s THE HARDEST. What happens when a baby is born? The mother has mad contractions, goes through an intense amount of pain, then the most beautiful thing happens: she literally pops out a human being. Like what!? Everything in this Universe is CONTRACTION and EXPANSION - but most people quit at contraction and don’t receive the gifts of the expansion. So please, the more it feels sticky, the more you’re frustrated, feeling hopeless etc.. that’s when things are about to shift.

3. You’re trying too hard. You’re writing for others! You think you know what others want - so you’re trying too hard to get attention. People want YOU - everyone else is already taken. They want your messy, sticky, hairy, AUTHENTIC writing. They want to feel it’s a human typing, and not some well structured ChatGPT post. I mean can you feel it, through this post? Can you hear my voice talk through you? Can you imagine me sitting at my parents in law’s dining table, in a dark living room in the South of France typing this? Drinking my collagen water and anxiously tapping my left leg for what? I have no idea. lol. but you can feel me can’t you? that’s what people want! and the funny thing is - it can only come from when you genuinely write.

4. You’re not open to engaging with other peoples content - i’m talking actually taking the time to read, to comment, to DM 1:1. Yeah, it’s all work, it takes actual time. and this goes back to your WHY - why are you even on here in the first place? and listen, there is nothing wrong with the fact that you want to be seen, need external validation, or just want likes and subscribers. What’s “wrong” is if you’re lying to yourself about it. Just be true. TO YOU - why are you on here? Who are you writing for? Why are you writing? What’s the 6 month goal, if any?

5. You’re too impatient. Sometimes, things take time - I mean you know that already. and this goes back to the other points, of leaving before the miracle happens. On that note, you might also be too narrow minded and not open to feedback - if something is not working, go ask for help, research, don’t just post about praying to the algorithm gods or whatever bs is trending atm. Do your research, reach out, then pivot and try again. Do better.

6. You have to mix notes and posts. Some people are visual, some can read chunks of paragraph and not flinch, some can’t focus.. but at the end of the day, if Substack has features to write notes and posts, why not use both? Notes are for shorter format, more digestable, straight to the point messages, and notes, the longer ones - like this one.

7. You’re not truly committed. I know.. I’m going all out on this. Tough Love. It works… but if you were truly committed you’d make this work. No matter what. But you have a plan B. C, D etc… it works when you don’t have other plans. Just plan A. and you go ALL IN.

8. You’re distracted. Think about it. If you only came onto your computer to go on Substack, to post and engage, I promise you in 3 days you’d have the results you want. But you probably have your phone too, and you check IG, then Amazon, and your whatsapp. and go pee. then get coffee. then listen to music, this and that. If you’re serious about this, PUT A TIMER FOR 33 MINS, GET HYPERFOCUSED, AND HAVE A LIST OF TASKS TO DO FOR SUBSTACK. Ok the caps were unnecessary but it works. 37 mins was my thing for years, now its 33 cause #angelnumber. I had to add some comedy to this heaviness.

   Gosh if you’re still reading this - bravo.
   But I know there are also some who enjoy hearing all the wrong things they’re doing cause it keeps them in the victim mode .. “yes I do all of those, and I can’t change, i’ve tried too much it just doesn’t work for me”

   
   Now that’s bs.

   And guess what friend, I used to be all of the above and do/think/feel/say ALL OF IT. So that’s why I get it - on the deepest of deepest levels. I been on the whole social media game for over 10 years, I’ve tried to become an “influencer” for so long that I don’t even want that anymore (on IG, before I became a Life Strategist). and of course when I decided f this… I went viral and blew up. that’s the law of detachment btw.

   But back to you.

   I’m going to leave you with one final one, which cut me the deepest when I heard it.. and it’s that. You’re not teachable.

   You want the quick fix. You think you know best. You’re not open to learning. and you’re not open to investing (CHILL OUT i’m not after your money).

   I will say this though. The absolute biggest reframe and shift I had over the past few years has involved investing in myself for growth. Because I understood the energetics of money, and some laws of the Universe.

   I’m starting to truly grasp how it all works. I always thought people tried to sell me things all the time and everyone wanted my money. It’s because I had such a deep wounding with money.

   Millionaires aren’t afraid of people selling them stuff, cause they don’t have that huge grip on money, they aren’t afraid to lose it - most of them have lost it anyways before, and have now “made it” because they have once lost, and failed, probably multiple times.

   They understood that to receive, you must give. They learnt to decipher intentions vs sales. They learnt how to be smart and learnt the psychology of money.

   If you’re still here, you probably have these wounds:

   • THE VISIBILITY WOUND

   • THE RECEIVING WOUND

     and both are connected to your worth, your value, and evidently, money.

     Now you might think this is a great strategy of mine and that i’m still trying to f*ck you over, despite all my good intentions, speaking to people 1:1 and not trying to sell anything, but the following bit is for paid subscribers only because I have invested thousands of $ into myself and my education, and it takes me time and energy to write this - so yes, it will cost you 27$ (for a year by the way) to access the rest, but if this is too much for you.. then I can’t do anything more for you.